


BTOB Chatroom

by btobmelorrie



Category: BTOB, melody - Fandom
Genre: Btob on crack, Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Humor, M/M, Multi, Sass, beagledols, btob chatroom, chat, funny btob, kpop
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2018-07-18
Packaged: 2019-02-01 15:26:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12707700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/btobmelorrie/pseuds/btobmelorrie
Summary: a chat where drama, sass and stupidity are rampant and nobody cares





	1. 3 am

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading this!
> 
> Please leave comments and suggestions if you want. I'd appreciate it very much.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> — btobmelorrie

**btob logged in**

Eunkwang: guuuuys

Minhyuk: its like 3 am what

Hyunsik: so loud

Eunkwang: i just wanted to know if anyone was awake

Eunkwang: and it turns out you areee

Eunkwang: let's eat ramen guyseu

Changsub: don't you guys know the word sleep

Peniel: guys please stop chatting the vibrations woke me up

Sungjae: vibrations hmmmn

Ilhoon: now is not the time for being a pervert yook sungjae

Changsub: so what, its 3 am

Sungjae: people who are up at 3 am usually fuck

Minhyuk: so what are you suggesting sungjae-yah?

Sungjae: an orgy

Peniel: WHAT THE ASHSDHSGSKK

Hyunsik: you actually used your mind for something yook sungjae

Ilhoon: hyunsik hyung! i thought we are EXCLUSIVELY DATING

Sungjae: stop being a selfish git ilhoon hyung. i won't mind tasting hyunsik hyung and fine fine uhm

Ilhoon: THEN TASTE HIM YOU PERVERTED IDIOT

Ilhoon: YOUR HYUNG WANTS TO BE TASTED ANYWAY

**ilhoon logged out**

Hyunsik: oh no hoonie i was just kidding i love you too much to do that

**hyunsik logged out**

Changsub: you went too far you know

Sungjae: i was just fooling around

Sungjae: he needs to take a chill pill srsly

Eunkwang: apologize to ilhoon right now, yook sungjae

Sungjae: why do you always say my full name

Sungjae: handsome yook is enough

Minhyuk: now is not the time for joke sungjae-yah. go to ilhoon and say sorry for being an asshole

Sungjae: eomma!

Minhyuk: you started this. go

Sungjae: fiiiine tsk

**sungjae logged out**

Changsub: is this group even normal

Changsub: we have a drama practically everyday

Peniel: we live with sungjae. we have to deal with it 

Changsub: endure, my friend. Imma sleep, goodnight

Peniel: okay, me too. good night

Eunkwang: guyseu what about my ramen who wants ramen come on let's go

Peniel: we do not care for your ramen. good night

**changsub logged out**

**peniel logged out**

Eunkwang: i just honestly want to eat ramen

Eunkwang: why are our kids like this

Minhyuk: they inherited the dramatic stuff from you

Eunkwang: im not dramatic!

Minhyuk: you are

Eunkwang: am not

Minhyuk: you are

**Five minutes later**

Minhyuk: don't argue with me or else i'll kiss you again

Eunkwang: yes minhyuk-ssi.

Minhyuk: let's sleep now, okay?

Eunkwang: okay ;)

**minhyuk logged out**

**eunkwang logged out**

 

 


	2. umm what

 

**btob logged in**

 Sungjae: okay you all 

Sungjae: WE. NEED. USERNAMES.

Minhyuk: what for?

Sungjae: hyung! BECAUSE. ITS. COOL.

Eunkwang: yes yes yes yes yes

Minhyuk: fine, but let's choose awesome names, not lame stuff like handsomeweirdoyooksungjae

Sungjae: ...

Sungjae: im actually gonna use that

Changsub: cause you're laaaame

Sungjae: appa! changsub hyung is being a bitch!

Eunkwang: language

Sungjae: whatever, im gonna choose a new one. a COOL NAME

hutaslays: whateveeeer

manly-mochi: my username is cute, like me

ImMJ: what are you all up to

hutaslays: who is ImMJ

honey-eyes-baboon: idk

hutaslays: honey-eyes-baboon? srsly eunkwangie?

honey-eyes-baboon: what? its cuuute

ImMJ: no its lame

honey-eyes-baboon: i do not care for your opinion, whoever you are

ImMJ: are you sure?

honey-eyes-baboon: ....

honey-eyes-baboon: yes

ImMJ: as of now, you do not have a fine-ass composer anymore

**ImMJ logged out**

hutaslays: who is he anyway?

Sungjae: ilhoon i think

manly-mochi: you think? YOU NEVER THINK MAKNAE YOU ARE AN IDIOT

Sungjae: why are you all so cruel

awesomebaldie: that's cause you're a bitch

Sungjae: im gonna wallow in my misery so don't ever talk to me again

**sungjae logged out**

awesomebaldie: drama queen smh

honey-eyes-baboon: im more worried about ilhoon

honey-eyes-baboon: what if he won't make us more songs

honey-eyes-baboon: poor btob

honey-eyes-baboon: poor melodies

English Speaker Jung: pls stop spamming

English Speaker Jung: im on a video chat with someone okay

honey-eyes-baboon: ilhoonieeee

honey-eyes-baboon: you won't leave us right?

English Speaker Jung: why would I?

hutaslays: then who is that ImMJ?

English Speaker Jung: its hyunsik hyung, i think. wait im gonna add him

 **English Speaker Jung added ImMJ to BTOB group chat**  

ImMJ: why did you add me again

honey-eyes-baboon: hyunsikie, is that you?

ImMJ: yes

ImMJ: but whatever, you don't care for my opinion anyway

honey-eyes-baboon: i was just kidding HAHAHA XD XD XD

honey-eyes-baboon: don't take it so seriously hahahahahauahgshuhu

honey-eyes-baboon: what's with the name anyways

ImMJ: its ilhoonie's future name

English Speaker Jung: awwww ;)

manly-mochi: shut up you make me cringe

ImMJ: i will talk to you later, changsub.

**manly-mochi logged out**

awesomebaldie: oooh some action FINALLY

English Speaker Jung: we all know hyunsik hyung, somebody will probably die when he's triggered

awesomebaldie: at least there's no more drama

honey-eyes-baboon: peuni iT IS NOT OKAY FOR CHANGSUB TO DIE

honey-eyes-baboon: we did not raise you like this

hutaslays: don't worry, he's a growing boy. its just his hormones acting up

awesomebaldie: what even is this

awesomebaldie: i passed puberty like ten years ago

hutaslays: its okay to let out your feelings peuni. we understand :)

awesomebaldie: wtf

**awesomebaldie logged out**

hutaslays: our kids are growing up im so proud

honey-eyes-baboon: you want to make more babies? ;)

hutaslays: naughty eunkwangiieee 

hutaslays: but yes ;)

**honey-eyes-baboon logged out**

**hutaslays logged out**

English Speaker Jung: ...

ImMJ: do we have to witness that

English Speaker Jung: im scarred for life. i cant ever look at them again

ImMJ: i don't want to think of what they are doing right now

English Speaker Jung: do you want to come over hyung? i miss youuuuuu

ImMJ: awww my hoonie

ImMJ: i miss you toooo~

ImMJ: wait for me ;)

English Speaker Jung: sure sikkie hyung ^^

**ImMJ logged out**

**English Speaker Jung logged out**

 

 


	3. weirdos

**btob logged in**

Ilhoon The Great: so i was reading this fanfic

CEO Seo: what?? you read fanfics???

Ilhoon The Great: where do you think our songs came from?

hutaslays: umm what about the time you and hyunsik went to california?

Ilhoon The Great: that was different kind of inspiration

Ilhoon The Great: something like smut fanfic thing

CEO Seo: im not sure if i want to hear this

Ilhoon The Great: anyway as i was saying, i read this fanfic

Ilhoon The Great: and that fic accurately describe everything that happened to btob

Ilhoon The Great: i was so scared, i thought we had a stalker

Ilhoon The Great: until i saw the author

Ilhoon The Great: thebestmaknae666

yookjjaldo: wow nice spamming. you made me lost my game

yookjjaldo: and in my defense no one would believe that fanfic

yookjjaldo: that's why its a fanfic yano

CEO Seo: umm sungjae wrote  _everything_??

yookjjaldo: the world knows about minkwang and ilsik lol

CEO Seo: SO YOU WROTE EVERYTHING???!!!!

yookjjaldo: of course not, im not stupid

hutaslays: shut up, your intelligence is questionable

awesomebaldie: i can't believe sungjae wrote a fanfic

awesomebaldie: guys he can write!

hyunsikkie: so he's not completely stupid after all

yookjjaldo: im so offended

yookjjaldo: i was mc for a lot of shows! and i studied abroad you know!

awesomebaldie: abroad? where???

yookjjaldo: in the philippines. it was a happy time, no one questioned my literacy

manly-mochi: sometimes you are so stupid we had to make sure

yookjjaldo: why are you here

manly-mochi: because im btob? duh?

yookjjaldo: i mean why do you even have to be born

manly-mochi: so that i can bless everyone my talent and looks

hutaslays: oooh that's a nice joke hahahahha

Ilhoon The Great: this is the most ridiculous chatroom ever

CEO Seo: its not like we had a choice

yookjjaldo: changsub hyung is such a liar smh

Ilhoon The Great: tbh you are disturbing my shoot for The Cushion

manly-mochi: i dont care, you are always to rude to us in that show

Ilhoon The Great: is saying the truth rude?

hutaslays: no but im gonna whoop your ass when you come home

CEO Seo: i wont permit any ass whooping okay

CEO Seo: just greet us on the show ilhoonie, as an apology gift :)))

Ilhoon The Great: aisssh okay

manly-mochi: anyway why are people shipping you and that lena? luna? 

yookjjaldo: people say ilhoon is always so sweet to her, even offcam

hyunsikkie: ilhoonie, care to explain?

Ilhoon The Great: it was nothing! i gave her my coat because her skirt is so short and seonho doesn't care

hyunsikkie: you look at her so sweetly and keep laughing and smiling

hyunsikkie: yes, im watching The Cushion

Ilhoon The Great: hyung i swear its nothing

hutaslays: god its the bomi issue all over again

hutaslays: come on eunkwangie, let's eat ramen

CEO Seo: all who wants ramen are welcome to the living room

awesomebaldie: im in

yookjjaldo: btw this is totally changsub's fault

manly-mochi: no 'hyung' now huh

manly-mochi: rude maknae

yookjjaldo: whatever. come on changsubbie, let's eat

manly-manly: aiiish you maknae. okay

**hutaslays logged out**

**CEO Seo logged out**

**awesomebaldie logged out**

**yookjjaldo logged out**

**manly-mochi logged out**

hyunsikkie: im gonna call, ilhoonie.

Ilhoon The Great: okay hyung.

**hyunsikkie logged out**

**Ilhoon The Great logged out**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sungjae studying in the Philippines is true. He studied English, that's why he's a bit more fluent than the others in speaking English. That Ilhoon-Lena thing.. I saw a pic in Instagram shipping them and I was inspired by that. Thank for reading! :)))


	4. revelations

 

**btob logged in**

CEO Seo: so guys i had a revelation

manly-mochi: if this about insoles im not interested

yookjjaldo: oooh nice one changsub hyung!

manly-mochi: ikr ;)

hutaslays: why are you two not annoying the hell out of each other today

manly-mochi: none of your business

hutaslays: wow so rude

CEO Seo: SO BACK TO MY REVELATION

CEO Seo: i just realized that we can have a nice and angelic maknae like other groups

CEO Seo: if we dont have sungjae and ilhoon

hutaslays: oooh that's a good idea

CEO Seo: see??? peniel would be a really great maknae

hutaslays: he'd always follow whatever we said and NEVER EVER be rude to us

CEO Seo: so how can we get rid of the two

hutaslays: maybe we can throw them in the han river

CEO Seo: sungjae is really heavy. how about poison

hutaslays: we still have to carry him to be buried or something

CEO Seo: well it cant be just the two of us

hutaslays: what do you say changsubbie?

manly-mochi: errrrr

yookjjaldo: you plan to kill me??? i am here SO RUDE

yookjjaldo: and hyung!  i thought we were FRIENDS!!!

manly-mochi: weeelll we wont have anymore free food from his fans

CEO Seo: yes....

manly-mochi: and ummm.. that's it, really

yookjjaldo: i feel so betrayed

manly-mochi: AND you will lose a talented and funny and amazing person

CEO Seo: welll...

yookjjaldo: awwww hyung :))

manly-mochi: treat me for an ice cream later okay? :)

hutaslays: srsly what's up with you two

yookjjaldo: none of your business

hyunsikkie: okay what is this

hyunsikkie: YOU CAN ALL KILL SUNGJAE BUT NOT ILHOON

hyunsikkie: istg 

hyunsikkie: if you touch a single hair on his i will

CEO Seo: you will????

hyunsikkie: I WILL GIVE YOU ONLY TWO LINES ON THE NEXT COMEBACK

CEO Seo: oh no no no i swear no killing will happen as long as im the leader 

hutaslays: look at this idiot....

CEO Seo: shut up minhyukkie

hutaslays: kwangiiieeee~ you know you're the main vocal right?

hutaslays: hyunsikkie can't give you two lines lol that's impossible

hyunsikkie: minhyukkieee~ you know ilhoon and i are the composers right?

hyunsikkie: kwangie has so little lines in LUV, and we can do it again

CEO Seo: lolololol nice joke hyunsikkie i will treat you and ilhoon tonight

CEO Seo: not as a favor or anything, just three friends chilling, you know hahahuhuhahah

manly-mochi: and we are not invited? smh

CEO Seo: are you composers??? huh??? aiiiish

pennie appa: hyung your true colors are showing through hahahaha

CEO Seo: aiiiiish im not here to be bullied

**CEO Seo logged out**

manly-mochi: guys, i think we went too far

yookjjaldo: i agree hyung, eunkwang hyung must really be pissed off

hyunsikkie: fine, im gonna buy him a cake

hyunsikkie: come with me ilhoonieeee~

pennie appa: flirts

pennie appa: please don't do that round people who doesn't have a lovelife

ilhoon: you're just jelly

pennie appa: im not jelly!!!!

ilhoon: oh shut up

pennie appa: rude, im still older than you

ilhoon: mianhe hyuuuung~ *gwiyomi*

yookjjaldo: stfu ilhoon

manly-mochi: just... go wherever you and hyunsik go and make babies ilhoonie

pennie appa: im gonna vomit if you try aegyo again

ilhoon: i actually look pretty cute

ilhoon: but its not my fault that you guys don't have good taste

ilhoon: so fareweeeeellll~ *gwiyomi*

**btob logged out**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry if this was boring. I'll make more effort on the next chapters, I promise. :)


	5. daily embarrassment? basic

**btob logged in**

awesomebaldie: guys can i ask a favor

yookjjaldovisual: sure hyung, what is it?

awesomebaldie: a sunbaenim is gonna borrow my phone so pls dont embarrass me

awesomebaldie: im gonna delete this conversation and when i say 'wazzup' you all act normal. okay?

honey-eyes-baboon: suuuure peunieeel but let me change my nickname to something more decent

manly-mochi: game peniel! just say the word ;)

**yookjjaldovisual changed the group name  to BTOB Group**

PennieAppa: wazzup

yookjjaldovisual: peniel hyung is that you? i thought you were awesomebaldie

PennieAppa: stUPID MAKNAE

yookjjaldovisual: im doing you a favor dont be mean

PennieAppa: aish dhshagwgasgdj pls start being normal

CEO Seo: how are you all?

hutaslays: wtf?

CEO Seo: i miss you kids

yookjjaldovisual: WE MISS YOU TOO HYUNG

JungAngel1004: the six of us are sitting next each other

CEO Seo: shut up THIS IS CALLED NORMAL

ImMJ: YOU. ARE. CLUE. LESS.

CEO Seo: im the leader where's the respect

JungAngel1004: idk maybe in the trash

manly-mochi: maybe there was really no respect in the first place

hutaslays: this was supposed to be a NORMAL btob chat NOT a roast your leader chat

CEO Seo: i dont deserve this why are you like this im like the backbone of this group

ImMJ: you are more like the appendix of this  group

JungAngel1004: no one knows what you're here for

manly-mochi: also prone to explode at any given moment

JungAngel1004: and a real pain to remove

ImMJ: ^^

hutaslays: hahahahahaha

hutaslays: this is not how you should treat your father hahahahaha

yookjjaldovisual: srsly idk which side eomma is on

manly-mochi: im not rly sure, he's literally otfl

JungAngel1004: pls stop with the abbreviations we are educated people pls

yookjjaldovisual: you just don't know what it means lololol

JungAngel1004: no i just like to do things with class

manly-mochi: no one can fuck with class

JungAngel: you might wanna ask hyunsik about that ;)

CEO Seo: guYS WHAT HAPPENED TO NORMALITY

ImMJ: peniel did not specify if its normal normal or btob normal

JungAngel1004: we are doing btob normal

CEO Seo: fuck you guys

CEO Seo: peniel did not say it was a Highlight sunbae

CEO Seo: pls let us all be respectable in chat at least

ImMJ: oh im friends with them. they know we are not that decent tbh

yookjjaldovisual: YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH SUNBAENIMS?

ImMJ: yah why

yookjjaldovisual: they still think im a kid, but we are in the same group and you're friends with them

ImMJ: im also a sunbae that's why

ImMJ: and im not immature like you

PennieAppa: i have my phone back

PennieAppa: and they know we are idiots so its okay

ImMJ: told ya. but they know we are talented even if you guys are stupid so no big deal

hutaslays: i wanted to be hurt by what hyunsik said but its true, you guys are stupid

yookjjaldovisual: how dare you betray us

yookjjaldovisual: WE ARE YOUR KIDS

hutaslays: but eunkwang is your father so

CEO Seo: i saw my name what is it

CEO Seo: i see my wife betrayed me

PennieAppa: i don't want anymore drama guys im out

**PennieAppa logged out**

ImMJ: me too

JungAngel1004: me three

**ImMJ logged out**  
**JungAngel1004 logged out**

Yookjjaldovisual: me five

manly-mochi: stupid sungjae don't know how to count hahaha

yookjjaldovisual: IT WAS AUTOCORRECT OKAY

manly-mochi: whatever. bye

**Manly-mochi logged out**

yookjjaldovisual: stupid hyung, he believed it hahaha >:0

**yookjjaldovisual logged out**

CEO Seo: we are gonna talk

hutaslays: ...

hutaslays: okay

**CEO Seo logged out**  
**hutaslays logged out**


	6. btob, kings of acting

**btob logged in**

CEO Seo: im so boreeed~

CEO Seo: let's do something guyssss

CEO Seo: let's do anythiiiiing

MySongReached7Wins: pls stop spamming

MySongReached7Wins: im making more songs to top the charts again and you're disturbing me

MySongReached7Wins: melodies will hate you

CEO Seo: lol they will not

CEO Seo: im the leader hahaha

yookjjaldovisual: what's with the spamming

Born To Be Actor: hahaha seo eunkwang they all know im the real leader

yookjjaldovisual: changsub hyung your username is an insult to me

Born To Be Actor: everyone praised my acting in the mv so why not

hutaslays: the After School Club host counts as everyone?

Born To Be Actor: don't be jealous guys. i will bless you with my acting skills someday

Ilhoon The Great: umm excuse me but have you seen me in The Cushion

Ilhoon The Great: now that is what i call quality acting

hutaslays: you were great there ilhoon! you can debut as an actor already

Ilhoon The Great: i know right

Born To Be Actor: you looked like a dinasaur in the mv

Ilhoon The Great: tsk poor child, you really should learn more about acting passionately

Born To Be Actor: i'm not a poor child, i'm so much older than you lmao

Ilhoon The Great: at least i'm a better actor

CEO Seo: wow you guys turned comedians overnight

CEO Seo: you will never be the leader Changsubbie ;_; Hyunsik maybe, but you? never

yookjjaldovisual: lol you guys

yookjjaldovisual: i know this is hard for you so im just gonna keep quiet about School: 2015, Goblin, and all the dramas i was on

Ilhoon The Great: still, we're not impressed. i will only bow down when you're at Lee Min Ho's level

Born To Be Actor: which will never happen you annoying little shit

yookjjaldovisual: you betrayed me AGAIN LEE CHANGSUB

yookjjaldovisual: and i was just sharing my experiences now i feel so attacked

hutaslays: YOU ARE ATTACKED you idiot

MySongReached7Wins: to stop this nonsense im just gonna judge the best to worst actors in this group

MySongReached7Wins: im gonna be fair okay so the best one is my hoonie

MySongReached7Wins: next is sungjae, then minhyuk hyung then eunkwang hyung then changsub hyung

MySongReached7Wins: then me. everyone wants me to smile even on sad scenes lol my eyesmile is really on high demand

Ilhoon The Great: aww hyung thank you ;)

yookjjaldovisual: how is this even fair

Born To Be Actor: AND I'M LAST????!!!!

CEO Seo: guys lets all calm down he's im hyunsik after all

CEO Seo: come on guys let's drink my treat

yookjjaldovisual: as long as ilhoon and hyunsik hyung are not invited

hutaslays: sure i think they have their own stuff to do anyway ;)

MySongReached7Wins: yes we do

Ilhoon The Great: hyung!

**CEO Seo logged out**  
**yookjjaldovisual logged out**  
**hutaslays logged out**  
**Born To Be Actor logged out**  
**MySongReached7Wins** **logged out**  
**Ilhoon The Great logged out**

PennieAppa: guys?

PennieAppa: wow i just took a bath and now another drama already happened

PennieAppa: btw

PennieAppa: in my unbiased opinion

PennieAppa: i really think my dying scene in that karaoke room was awesome

PennieAppa: it was like from a hollywood movie I CAN BE AN ACTOR IF YOU GUYS KICK ME OUT

PennieAppa: im totally first in acting tsk tsk

PennieAppa: AND I SPEAK ENGLISH UNLIKE YOU YOOK SUNGJAE GOOGLE TRANSLATE

PennieAppa: okay bye i have to get naked now

**PennieAppa logged out**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Suggestions/request are very much appreciated! And leave some kudos if you enjoyed this crap I write :)))  
> \- btobmelorrie


	7. swish swish

**btob logged in**

 

 

masterpiece composer: I hate the world

CEO Seo: why? is something wrong irunah?

thefaceoftonymoly: oh you know him, his dog just probably ignored him or something

masterpiece composer: wow, maybe i'll hate the world less if you're not in it

thefaceoftonymoly: you dare say that to me?? ME?? thousands of girls would cry if die

yookie: don't look so scandalized changsub-ah. even your mother doesn't care about you

thefaceoftonymoly: you need to learn to give me respect yook sungjae

thefaceoftonymoy: you cry baby

yookie: shut up hyung, you call yourself the face of tony moly

yookie: as if the rest of us are not LOL KEEP DREAMING HYUNG 

i'm not bald anymore: can you all pls stop you're annoying me

CEO Seo: ooooow i'm so sorry peuni we will stop right now

yookie: you know we will do anything for you

i'm not bald anymore: wow... that's so creepy

minsexy ;) : look you guys you scared baby peuniiii~

CEO Seo: but we're just telling the truth......

minsexy ;) : I know, I love our baby too but I think sometimes he wants us to, you know, not be too much?

i'm not bald anymore: you are being creepy too, hyung

i'm not bald anymore: you all are the reason why I became bald in the first place

minsexy ;) : awww ow wittle bwaeby is angwyyyyy~

i'm not bald anymore: i'm not angry i'm just having an existential crisis

i'm not bald anymore: okaaaay i'm just gonna go out for a bit before i stop someone else's existence

CEO Seo: awww look at him being all grown up so cute

i'm not bald anymore: okay I quit

**i'm not bald anymore logged out**

masterpiece composer: well thank god he didn't quit btob YET

masterpiece composer: or how else would I get a sense of normalcy here

yookie: oh hyung, you're back?

masterpiece composer: you just didn't state facts, YOU ASKED IT

masterpiece composer: this is why we aren't normal

CEO Seo: well what happened? you are really bitchy today lol

minsexy ;) : did something happen with hyunsik?

masterpiece composer: oh you bet

masterpiece composer: so we were cuddling in our beds this morning, kissing and looking at stuff online

CEO Seo: this is too much information oh mygod

yookie: ummm you were kissing and looking at stuff online? at the same time????

thefaceoftonymoly: oh my god, I hope that's not what I think it is

minsexy ;) : I thought you were busy

yookie: changsub hyung is a nosy little bitch who comes at the mention of sexy things

yookie: comes mehehehehe

masterpiece composer: gosh can you stop it

masterpiece composer: so as I was saying, we were looking at stuff online and he saw this writing prompt about a pencil

masterpiece composer: and these pencils say

masterpiece composer: USE ME PAPI

masterpiece composer: AND NOW HYUNSIKKIE HYUNG WONT SHUT UP ABOUT IT AND EVERYTIME HE USES SOMETHING HE WHISPERS 'USE ME PAPI' AND I FUCKING HATE IT

yookie: wow he seemed a bit distressed

thefaceoftonymoly: a bit distressed is an understatement

minsexy ;) : well, why do you hate it? its actually cute you know

CEO Seo: and you know, maybe he wants you to say that to him when you.. you know

minsexy ;) : great idea eunkwangie! maybe the phrase turns him on so much he'd like you to say it

thefaceoftonymoly: can someone pls make me forget what I just read

thefaceoftonymoly: or just delete all of it like it never happened

thefaceoftonymoly: I can't fucking believe that yOU GAVE JUNG ILHOON SEX ADVICE

yookie: changsub hyung... we are scarred for life

yookie: the next time someone ask why we seem like a bunch of mental asylum regulars then i'm blaming those two

**i'm not bald anymore logged in**

i'm not bald anymore: so I calmed down a bit and now i'm rational like ever

i'm not bald anymore: goodness what is this filth you have been talking about

i'm not bald anymore: you know what I don't even want to ask

i'm not bald anymore: goodnight everyone come on let's go to sleep pls I hope I will not have any nightmares about 'call me papi' oh my god

yookie: now you know our suffering

thefaceoftonymoly: good night, peuni baby

yookie: I still hope you have sweet dreams

CEO Seo: good night everyone! yah irunah, remember what we told you alright? just don't make too much noise hyunsik's room is right next to mine okay

masterpiece composer: okay, pls shut up i'm kinda embarrassed about what I will do

yookie: oh my god pls stop GOODNIGHT EVERYONE PLS STOP TALKING ABOUT SEX I BEG YOU GOODNIGHT

**CEO Seo logged out**

**minsexy ;) logged out**

**thefaceoftonymoly logged out**

**i'm not bald anymore logged out**

**masterpiece composer logged out**

**yookie logged out**

call me papi: seems like I slept through your entire conversation

call me papi: wow I can't believe it 

call me papi: hoonie the smart one didn't get what its about but you two.... its either your intellect can only be useful when its sex related or you've done this enough times to know what it is

call me papi: actually I don't want to know

call me papi: but thanks for.. ehem, leading hoonie to the right path

call me papi: i'm really excited now lol bye

**call me papi logged out**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> what is this filth I have written
> 
> forgive me, readers, for not updating in about a hundred years. but its summer vacation now so yeah, you can expect more from me soon. :)
> 
> i'd like to thank melorrui from twitter for reminding me about this fic and inspiring me write more. I swear, readers underestimate the power of a few words to authors. it can make all the difference in the world.
> 
> \- btobmelorrie


	8. on crack

**btob logged in**

hutazone: YAH YOOK SUNGJAE

hutazone: I SWEAR IF YOU ATE THE CAKE I BOUGHT IM GONNA KICK YOU OUT OF THIS GROUP

visual maknae: what cake, hyung?

hutazone: don't lie or else i'll feed you to my dog

tofu prince: lol hyung your dog is a tiny fashionista shihtzu

tofu prince: anyway, sungjae really did not eat the cake. he told me he was trying to diet

hutazone: and you believe him?

tofu prince: why shouldn't i?

hutaslays: aww look at that

CEO Seo: WAHT WOHT

CEO Seo: IS LEE CHANGSUB REALLY DEFENDING YOOK SUNGJAE

sexy irunah: yes guYS OH MY GOSH

visual maknae: waaaaah thanks hyung

visual maknae: you are a really great singer you know

visual maknae: that's why i go to your concerts even if its in japan

tofu prince: i knew it!!! i wish you'd come to my concerts more lol

tofu prince: BUT GUYS!!! only i can insult yook sungjae

visual maknae: on second thought, you are really ugly

tofu prince: yah! its a compliment. i don't insult just anyone, i only insult YOU

visual maknae: am i supposed to feel happy

PennieAppa: get a personal chat guys

PennieAppa: you're spamming

sexy irunah: yeah but we can kick you out Peniel hyung. we already have an english speaker

sexy irunah: me

PennieAppa: shut up

sexy irunah: wazzup this wazzup

PennieAppa: idk what's wrong with guys i just

PennieAppa: god i didn't know what i was doing when i debuted with you

CEO Seo: at least we're talented

hutaslays: and we do cool poses in the red carpet

visual maknae: and MCs are scared of us lololol

PennieAppa: umm that's the cool part i guess

sexy irunah: aaaaaaand we can be stupid and still look cute

sexy irunah: like me :0

PennieAppa: oh shut up

PennieAppa: and minhyuk hyung... i was so hungry earlier that i ate the cake in the ref.. i'm so sorry it won't happen again :(

hutazone: it was a strawberry cake and i was gonna share it with hamo

hutazone: but its okay peuni baby since its you~

sexy irunah: wow the amount of favoritism

tofu prince: and that's coming from you lol

sexy irunah: huh? why

visual maknae: why don't you ask hyunsik hyung

papi: did i see my name

papi: what is it, sungjaeyah?

visual maknae: yah lee changsub tell hyunsik hyung about it

tofu prince: ummmmmm

tofu prince: why meeee T.T

visual prince: you told ilhoon first!

tofu prince: i thought he's sleeping again!

sexy irunah: may i remind you two that you're in a chatroom

sexy irunah: and hyunsik hyung can see what you are talking about

visual maknae: oh hahahaha

visual maknae: we're dead

tofu prince:  ahhh sikkie

tofu prince: don't take this the wrong way, but you know

tofu prince: its like you like ilhoon-ah more than us

CEO Seo: yeah!! when i do something weird, sometimes you judge me but if ilhoon does the same thing you laugh and join him

PennieAppa: ooooh someone's bitchin'

PennieAppa: finally, the tea i came for is here

papi: well, i'd do that to you all if you love me like ilhoon does

papi: if you care for me like ilhoon does

papi: if you kiss me like ilhoon does

papi: if you make me happy at night like ilhoon does

PennieAppa: AND THAT'S IT in the name of the father, the son, and the holy spirit AMEN

PennieAppa: you can do your favoritism without us thank you

CEO Seo: OKAY KIDS ITS TIME FOR BED

CEO Seo: let us forget the events of today's chat so we may sleep peacefully alright

hutazone: it started well, how did it end up like this 

visual maknae: i'm never going back to this toxic chatroom ever again

sexy irunah: you all asked for it :)

papi: and i just gave what you all asked for

sexy irunah: but... make you happy at night? seriously hyung? hahahaha 

papi: call me papi ^^

papi: and its night already.. make me happy again ;)

tofu prince: how about... instead of us going away, we kick you two out from this chatroom?

papi: are you sure you want that

tofu prince: haha

tofu prince: i'm just kidding LOL goodnight everyone sweetdreams 6

visual maknae: sweet dreams to you too hyung ^_^

**CEO Seo logged out**

**hutazone logged out**

**tofu prince logged out**

**papi logged out**

**PennieAppa logged out**

**sexy irunah logged out**

**visual maknae logged out**

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for the comments on the last update! actually, i wasn't fishing comments on my last note. its just that i have read so many great fanfics that were stopped or not updated for a long time, and as a writer, i guess it must have felt like that. i thought that you too have read unfinished ffs that you really liked, so i said that.
> 
> anyway, those comments made me happy! thanks again! ^^
> 
> \- btobmelorrie


	9. heung heung

**btob logged in**

minhyuk main vocal: how does it feel to be betrayed huh hyunsikkie??

papi: idk

papi: i'm in a club rn

papi:there's so many pretty girls here wow

papi: omg did i just see my ex

papi: maybe i should give her a smack

papi: like that jung ilhoon did hmmmmn

michaeljung: hyuuuuuung~

michaeljung: mianheeeeee~ i love you~

peuni: hyung don't reply yet i'm getting my popcorn and soda

CEO Seo: oh yeah!! best live entertainment by composer line!!

minhyuk main vocal: i'm hurt

minhyuk main vocal: why am I not included in the composer line

minhyuk main vocal: heung heung

CEO Seo: uwu you're so cute

CEO Seo: i'm gonna change it for you!

CEO Seo: **best live entertainment delivered to you by ilsik!!

most handsome member: its not good entertainment unless someone dies

minhyuk main vocal: ??? wtf???

jjaldo: will you shut up hyung if someone dies it will be me

most handsome member: oh

most handsome member: that would probably be entertaining tbh

jjaldo: i would NEVER buy you food anymore

peuni: you guys are so mean to sungjae

peuni: i mean maybe he deserves to die and all but not by hyunsik's hand

jjaldo: i thought peniel's gonna save me but nooooo

jjaldo: i have no friends in this world

michaeljung: anyway sorry sungjae

jjaldo: its okay no worries

michaeljung: thanks i owe you one

jjaldo: i know you did it for the show, its fine

papi: so are you two gonna kiss or what

michaeljung: hyung omg

papi: oh what do i care i'm drinking with my ex rn bye

michaeljung: hyuuuuuuuung :(

michaeljung: where are you i'm gonna go there right now

michaeljung: hyung i love you

michaeljung: hyunsik hyung

michaeljung: hyung pls don't go back to your ex

CEO Seo: ummm guys this is getting awkward i'm literally sitting next to ilhoon at the couch and he's sniffling hyunsikkie pls come back now

michaeljung: wht no wht are yu wven saying im not cryng

papi: HEY I'M AT THE DOOR OPEN UP

papi: ilhoonie pls don't cry aymore i'm sorry hyunsik hyung is here already

michaeljung: what abt your ex

papi: i lied, you know i can never replace you. i love you

michaeljung: awww hyung TT TT

peuni: AND THAT CONCLUDES THE BTOB DAILY DRAMA EPISODE 437

peuni: not bad, could use a bit more violence tho

CEO Seo: awww peuni you're so cute but i feel like you're trolling us?? are you??

peuni: who knows?? am i??

minhyuk main vocal: this entire chatroom is on drugs

jjaldo: umm okay but what even is your nickname lol

minhyuk main vocal: my album's out to snatch the main vocal position in btob sooo i'm just warning you

peuni: i already listened to it and i thought you were having a duet with someone else but i remembered your voice from all the time you sang in the shower

most handsome member: wow that's the longest message you sent ever peuni peuni

peuni: we were talking about minhyuk hyung's album, thanks for you contribution

most handsome member: you're so sassy why do i still love you

jjaldo: because peuni is so cute! just look at that face and tell me that's not the most adorable thing you've ever seen

most handsome member: aaaaah he's so cute lemme bite his arm

peuni: okay this is getting so weird goodnight people you've got some weird fetishes bye

most handsome member: goodnight! and i need to get my beauty sleep too. bye

jjaldo: goodnight all! tbh i'm jus happy i didn't get killed today. bye

**btob logged out**

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry guys, i didn't update for so long. college is so stressful :(   
> this chapter is not as good as i wanted but lately i'm not as funny as i wanted to be. sorry again :( anyway here is a draft for a new fic titled 'more than that' which i wrote a long time ago. pls comment if you guys think i should continue writing it! i have a twitter au to start too but i also want to try longer fics soooo if this is good enough then maybe i would. hehe
> 
>  
> 
> More Than That
> 
> “You know we’re more than just fuck buddies,” Hyunsik said looking at Ilhoon beside him.
> 
> This is just one of the countless times they are in bed together, and not just because they slept. Ilhoon’s legs are tangled with Hyunsik’s, his black hair a mess even if its way too short to be messy. The sheets are supposed to cover their naked bodies but Hyunsik can still see the tattoo on Ilhoon’s chest.
> 
> “You know we are just that, nothing more and nothing less,” Ilhoon answered. He removed the sheets and got up. His pale body shone in the morning sunlight. As he went to the bathroom, Hyunsik got up too and followed him.
> 
> He’s proud of his body, and he have every reason to be. But still, he only shows to the person he’s close to, Hyunsik thought with satisfaction.
> 
> “Hmmm, maybe, maybe not.” Hyunsik went inside the bathroom and kissed Ilhoon hard on the mouth.
> 
> “Hyung, I didn’t even brush my teeth yet!” Ilhoon pouted and lightly slapped Hyunsik’s chest.
> 
> Cute, he thought.
> 
> “You take too long, and I can’t help myself,” Hyunsik said instead, and then smiled. //
> 
> This is the unedited version and ilhoon's hair was still short when I wrote it lolol. Tell me what you think!
> 
> -btobmelorrie


	10. drunken emo

**btob logs in**

kimbap rapper lee: hyunsik pls change your nickname

papi: what's wrong with it

master composer 1/2: yeah what's wrong? i like it

peniel: of course you'd say that ilhoon-ah

master composer 1/2: why??

peniel: shut up you flower vase

hutazone: dID PENIEL JUST TOLD ILHOON TO SHUT UP

hutazone: OMG

hutazone: I'M SO PROUD OF YOU

penographer: oh god

penographer: i rarely show my sass because we all know you guys can't take it

kimbap rapper seo: uwu so cute

penographer: oh shut up

penographer: now give me a minute, i will just question my life decisions

**peniel logged out**

kimbap rapper lee: ANYWAY hyunsik doesn't kimbap rapper sounds like a better name than papi

papi: no, my rapping level is a lot higher than kimbap

papi: y'all know i'm ilhoon's top one right? ^^

papi: and ilhoon is our... wait for it... main rapper!

kimbap rapper seo: but hyunsik-ah... ilhoon is your boyfriend

papi: no i'm just talented

kimbap rapper yook: but if ilhoon's not your bf then i'm probably his number one smh

papi: not my bf? you his number one?

papi: well you gotta deal with the present sungjae-yah

kimbap rapper yook: wah that's not what i meant

kimbap rapper yook: do you want some food, hyung? kimbap?

papi: pig feet!

master composer 1/2: i just opened this now and

master composer 1/2: SUNGJAE STOP

master composer 1/2: HYUNSIK HYUNG AND I ARE DRINKING RIGHT NOW AND HE'S ON HIS FOURTH BOTTLE OF SOJU

master composer 1/2: he's kinda tipsy so sungjae for the love of god plEasE sHUT UP

hutazone: ooooooh this drama sounds promising!

kimbab rapper seo: to keep this group together i honestly don't wanna deal with stuff like this

kimbab rapper seo: but its hella entertaining, carry on

kimbab rapper lee: as our leader, that's the wisest thing you have ever said

**penographer logged in**

penographer: lmaoooo i just read the recents and idk what to say

penographer: but hey sungjae are u ok bro

kimbab rapper yook: hey man wazzup if i like disappear suddenly pls take care of my cat ok

master composer 1/2: no NO ONE'S DISAPPEARING 

kimbab rapper yook: tell that to your boyfriend

kimbab rapper lee: sungjae you know hyunsik will probably kill you to get sami right

kimbab rapper yook: NO!!!!!! I'M SAMI'S FATHER HE CAN'T DO THAT NO

kimbab rapper yook: i... i can't stand the thought of sami being happy in another's arms

master composer 1/2: hmmmn weird flex but ok

kimbab rapper yook: shut uP tis is all ur faylt

kimbab rapper yook: changsubbie hyuuuung

kimbab rapper yook: pls sing me songs i'm so saAaad

kimbab rapper lee: what??? no hahahaha

kimbab rapper yook: whhhhhhyyyyyyYyy

kimbab rapper yook: just sing me that lovely song taht u liek

kimbab rapper lee: lol why should i? ur not even my girlfriend

kimbab rapper yook: wow, btCh thAt hurt

penographer: hey sungjae where are u? i'm coming to get u u're hella drunk

kimbab rapper yook: im in tje moooooon snging to myslfffff cus im not his girlfriwnd

kimbab rapper lee: ok, turn on your gps. i'm getting you

kimbab rapper yook: shUT up u dont luv me

master composer 1/2: sungjae right now is a whole ass mood

penographer: god give me patience or i just might slap several people into an other plane of existence

papi: peuni your nickname kinda sounds like pornographer lol do you wanna be one

penographer: okAY THAT'S IT EVERYONE, the shows over have a goodnight and sleep tight for my sake

hutazone: nooooo just let them continue, this the song inspiration i was waiting for

penographer: hyung, this is not for a song kind of inspiration, its for a soap opera

kimbab rapper seo: HOLY SHHITTT OMG A COCKr

master composer 1/2: OMYGOD WHAT

kimbab rapper seo: a COCKROACH JIST FLEW INTO MY FUCKEN NOODLES RAAAAAHHHHHH

hutazone: oh i thought—

hutazone: kk wait, i'll be there

hutazone: you young ones, play nice, be back later. toodles!

penographer: ok that was weird

penographer: let's all sleep, it has been a long night. bye bye, i'm exhausted ugh

 

**penographer logged out**

**hutazone logged out**

**kimbab rapper seo logged out**

**kimbab rapper lee logged out**

**kimbab rapper yook logged out**

**master composer 1/2 logged out**

**papi logged out**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i feel like this had more potential... and its disappointing in a way. still, the best i could do right now lmao. changsub going to military and sungjae being clingy as fuck to him rn depresses me.
> 
> read the notes for the last chapter, i sound like changsub complaining to be not funny. hmmmn, amusing. xx
> 
> — btobmelorrie


End file.
